Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Bone Yard (1991)


Gifted psychic, Alley retreats from the world. Unsought attention received for her
extrasensory abilities, used to aid a seasoned detective in solving a series of crimes
relating to missing children. Forces her to find solace in her shabby home.

Despite her recent case of agoraphobia, Detective Jersey is still quick to re-enlist the aid
of his reluctant former acquaintance. After being assigned a bizarre case involving
a mortician, and the bodies of three dead children found locked up in a storage room.
Their bellies full of cadaver meat.

When questioned, the mortician known as Mr. Chen tells the officers that taking care of
the three undead children or "kiyoshi" is a duty bestowed to him and his ancestors,
as a penance for past misdeeds. He also continues to warn the detectives that the
kiyoshi are quite skilled at playing possum when they are full.

Unable to use her super sensory skills without a physical link to the bodies.
Jersey and Alley venture to the coroner's building to investigate the children's corpses.
Unfortunately for them, the old crone running the desk, Miss. Poopinplatz and
her vicious poodle aren't the only scary things lurking in the already notably
creepy establishment. The kiyoshi are also growing restless with hunger.


There is nothing wrong with a little non-pretentious, campy fun!
General goofiness aside, the make-up effects are genuinely creepy and the film's
many redeeming qualities make up for any flaws that it may possess.

What's better then Phyllis Diller sans wig? Or the notorious zombie poodle
and jokes about dead children?

This film tugs at my heart strings.

Availability:  The original 2000 Navarre press is out of print, however I have noticed
another pressing from Zia Home entertainment. Which looks almost identical.
I am still unsure whether this is official or authorized, so I'll stick with recommending the
Navarre press.

Price: 12-30$

Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Friday, August 19, 2011

Seeding Of A Ghost (1983)


Taxi driver Chau is about to find out the hard way, what happens to individuals who
interrupt a black magician's spell. Not only is the act itself considered a damnable offense.
The deed is punishable by unavoidable bad luck that could result in death.
Yet, rather then heed the black magician's warnings, Chau prefers to go on about
his business. And at the end of the night, he returns home to his attractive wife, Irene.

Irene is employed at a bustling casino. Where she begins to have an affair with one of
the affluent regulars, Fang. The pair cavort and enjoy secret trysts until a lover's quarrel
over Fang's refusal to leave his wife threatens to end their romance.

After ditching Fang, Irene calls her husband from a payphone and requests
that he pick her up. Only Chau does not expect that the black magician's foretold misfortune
would affect his wife, who is chased to an abandoned home to be raped and murdered by two hoodlums.

A mysterious occurrence leads Chau to his wife's body. Leading the police to consider
him the prime suspect in her death. Irene's lover Fang is also taken into custody.
Adding insult to injury when Chau is confronted with the reality of his wife's infidelity.

Wishing to avenge his spouse, Chau seeks the aid of the black magician responsible
for his curse. The two then begin to create the ultimate revenge. Using Irene's decomposing
corpse and vengeful spirit.

This is going to be messy.


Good things do come to those who wait! This film may have some minor pacing issues,
but once it reaches it's final 20 minutes, it crescendos to a memorably bloody finale.
With an "It's Alive" reminiscent scene that totally tops the original. Doctor's will be disfigured.
Limbs will be severed and viscera will fly!

This movie also features two familiar faces in HK cinema. Phillip Ko (The Boxer's Omen)
and Norman Chu (We're Going To Eat You)

I am unsure of this title's in print/out of print status, but it still
appears to be available for purchase.

Price: 14-20$

And now for......

Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Favorite Movie Character 02: Binky The Clown

Shakes The Clown (1991)

When I think of volatile, murderous party clowns with an affinity for nose candy.
I think of Binky. Played by the hilarious Tom Kenny, also known as the voice of Spongebob Squarepants.

This movie also happens to be one of my favorite comedies of all time.
Between the amusing hierarchy of clowns, recurrent theme of alcoholism,
and unexpected cameo from Robin Williams as mime Jerry.
This film still makes me bust a gut.

Love. love. LOVE this movie!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)


Angus is a budding archeologist, excavating the land surrounding the Mercy Farm
Bed and Breakfast. Run by two sisters, Mary and Eve.

While digging Angus unearths a large skull from some unidentifiable beast or animal.
Along with the skull, he finds a coin he thinks originated from 286 A.D, bearing
the image of  some strange serpent.

Later that evening, he is invited to a party thrown by their landlord John D'ampton.
A time honored celebration glamorizing a local folklore tale about the D'ampton worm.
Whom John's ancestors are said to have slain.

After the festivities, Angus walks one of sister's home. The duo decide to take a
shortcut through a grove not far from Stonerich cavern. An area with great significance
to the sisters, considering it is where their parents went missing.

The strangeness continues the following day. As the local police, arrive at Mercy Farm.
Carrying Mary and Eve's father's pocket watch. Sparking an open investigation
into Stonerich cavern.

Not far from the cavern, resides the abode of Lady Sylvia Marsh. A devastatingly beautiful
woman with a murderous inclination. In addition, to her blind worship of some ancient
Pagan snake god, Dionin.

Upon discovering news of the exhumed skull, she ventures to Mercy Farm to
retrieve the skull, thought to have once belonged to her god. But, before leaving,
Sylvia unveils a pretty nasty set of fangs, and spits a green fluid on a crucifix
hanging on the wall. Which the virginal Eve makes the fatal mistake of touching.

It would seem that the legend of the D'ampton worm may have some truth to it after all ;)


When searching for more cinematic horrors to add to my burgeoning movie collection.
One's parents would seem like the last place to look. Thankfully, my mother's avid love
of Ken Russell led me to this film. First introduced to me as a kid, and repeated airings of
a butchered version on cable as a teenager, only heightened my appreciation for this unique title.

Between the nightmarish panorama of hallucinations plaguing various characters,
to the cheeky infusion of humor only the British can pull off. This compiled with the
slinky and sexy Sylvia (Amanda Donohoe), further contribute to my smoldering love of this film.

Oh, and the nuns. The poor, defiled and mutilated nuns!

Availability: Two pressings of this title exist, one from Pioneer and the most recent
from Artisan (2003). Both are readily available for purchase.

Price: I am all for snatching up great titles at a cheap price, and this movie is no exception.
It can be purchased for around 5-8$ depending on the year of pressing,
and whether or not the purchaser minds buying the film used.

Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)