Tuesday, June 25, 2013


I know it's been pretty dead here on the movie review front. I have been looking extensively at web hosts, so I can actually put together a website and layout that I am truly proud of.

If anyone knows of any, please let me know.
The information would be greatly appreciated.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Memorably Messy On-Screen Demises (09)

I thought I would inject a little class into this whole affair, by including a film from
French genius, Jean Rollin. Known more for his dreamy lesbian vampires,
then gore. This film, however, is one of a few exceptions.

The Living Dead Girl (1982) 

Helene and Catherine are best friends, except Catherine is a bit on the undead side.
With a restrictive diet consisting of human flesh. So, Helene being the good friend she is,
opts to help her troubled friend, by leading an array of victims to the dinner table.

Catherine eventually grows tired of this arrangement.
Preferring to consume Helene instead.

What a lovely way to express one's undying affection, then with a little
throat munching action.

After all, you only eat the ones you love ;)

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Memorably Messy On-Screen Demises (08)

Tom Savini is easily one of the best make-up effects artists to ever exist!
Supplying myriad noteworthy horror and slasher films with memorable characters
and equally unforgettable deaths.

In addition, to being the supreme master of all manner of  head and neck mutilations.
Here is an homage to my favorite double-barreled demise ;)

Maniac (1980)

Anyone with immense interest in slasher films, is already aware of the supreme greatness
of this death. A slow motion shot gun blast to the head, delivered by an unhinged serial
killer. With an affinity for mannequins, heavy breathing...and lady scalps.

Tom Savini was cast to play the unfortunate fellow on the receiving end of
of Joe Spinell's shotgun. In the book Grande Illusions (Vol 1), Savini recalls
this particular scene;

"One of the most "interesting" effects for me was
blasting my own head off with a double-barreled shotgun."

"This effect, for me, was the closest I've ever come
to the feeling of having committed a cold-blooded murder.
When the effect was over, I actually felt like I had killed
somebody, and to top it all off, it was ME I was killing!"

On a random note: This was definitely one of the most difficult deaths to screen cap.
With the immense amount of brain matter and chunks of skull littering the screen.
This scene is definitely best observed in motion :P 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Lorna The Exorcist (1974)


Patrick Mariel may not live long enough to regret his unworldly covenant for wealth.
Made with an equally strange and seductive woman, named Lorna.
Whom he encounters at a casino.

Lorna offers Patrick a life of luxury in exchange for his first born child.
This pact seems totally harmless at first.

Until 18 years later, when Patrick's daughter Linda has reached her sexual peak.
And Lorna seems to be lurking around every corner, waiting to claim what
she believes is rightfully hers.

Don't let the over-the-top eyeshadow fool you. Lorna means business ;)


This film makes me think of a Grimm's fairy tale, but with beaver shots.
Lorna's lusty abilities also remind me of Soledad Miranda's cursed character in,
Vampyros Lesbos. Filmed 3 years prior.

The fact that this film exists in a tangible form at all, is pretty amazing.
Only available materials from various prints could be used.
Over all, though, it still retains some semblance of continuity.

But, with every Franco film, there are a few instances that I found silly.
My first complaint being with Lina Romay's crazy eyed spasms
at the end of the film. I do not mind when films break the "4th wall", but having
a character stare directly into the camera with google eyes.
Read as more goofy, then someone trying to appear authentically possessed.

Also..the ridiculously death of Patrick's wife, as her crotch is consumed by green crabs.
What de hell?

Despite these bizarre occurences, I still found the film erotic and dream-like.
Two things Franco seems to excel at.

Availability: In print, and available.

Price: 16-22$

Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Friday, February 22, 2013

Memorably Messy On-Screen Demises (07)

I could not think of a more creative way to murder someone, then with a
homemade narcotic so powerful it makes the consumer explode in a rainbow of body parts.
It sorta makes you think of a hotdog, after you've put it in the microwave ;)
Which brings me to this 90s horror/comedy classick!

Frankenhooker (1990)

Jeffery Franken is not only a talented medical student, but also a creator of
myriad homicidal inventions. After his wife is turned into meat pudding via a
remote controlled lawn mower. Jeffery drives himself batty trying to think of
ways to bring her back to life.

Eventually, he concocts an unorthodox plan with intentions to use the body parts
from street walkers. In hopes of reconstructing his beloved.
How he intends to harvest these parts, you ask?
By enticing the women with his homemade "super crack", of course!

The events that follow the hookers consumption of the drug, is a sight to behold.
To say the least.

It's a hooker holocaust!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Memorably Messy On-Screen Demises (06)

From the depraved SS, to corrupt and decadent oil sheiks. Ilsa certainly has a gift
for choosing allies. However, her true strengths lie with her bountiful chest, and voracious
appetite for torture and humiliation. Case and point......

Ilsa Harem Keeper Of The Oil Sheiks (1976)

After barely surviving an array of mutilations. This poor belly dancer becomes
the guinea pig for a new device called, "the love machine". An appartatus that
takes the form of a remote controlled mechanical penis.

Unfortunately, along with coaxing orgasms, this devilish contraption also brings
about a swift and messy end. Taking into account the fact that the device doubles
as an explosive device. Usually always detonated once the victim has reached
the height of pleasure.

What a way to go!

Monday, February 4, 2013

The Untold Story (1993)


Decomposing body parts of nameless victims have started to wash up on a beach
in Macau. Inspector Lee and his gaggle of buffoonish detective's are left to pick up
the pieces. (literally.)

Clues point the crew in the direction of Wong Chi Hang, the new owner of a
local restaurant called Eight Immortals. The police officials know little of Wong's affinity for
murdering his business associates, gambling buddies and employee's.
Their bodies he inevitably grinds up for the filling in his delicious barbequed pork buns.

After he is spotted attempting to throw away evidence, he is taken into custody,
where the inspector and his recruits try their hardest to make him confess.
And when he eventually does, the audience will experience quite a shock.
To say the least.

"I never eat barbequed pork buns, you never know what's in the filling"-Inspector Lee


I was 17 when I first saw this film. And it certainly left a memorable impression.
Along with kick starting my dual love and curiosity for fucked up Asian cinema.

The Untold Story may very well be the most notorious of all CAT III films!
Anthony Wong's portrayal of the deranged and psychotic, Wong Chi Hang earned
him his first award for Best Actor at the Hong Kong Film Festival.

This is a viewing experience you won't soon forget.
Those with an aversion to rape and explicit child murder, may want to steer clear
of this film. It will leave a nasty scar on your psyche ;)

I give it my highest recommendation!

Availability: Out of print, but copies are still floating around for purchase.

Price: 19-43$

Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)