Father Ted: Season 3

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Summary:

The third and final season of the fucking legendary British/Irish television show, Father Ted.
A testament to the comedic genius of Dermot Morgan and crew.

Father Ted is back on Craggy Island and the glorious misadventures of the three priests
(Ted, Dougal, Jack) continue. From eyeglass stealing magpies, banana cake jumpers,
womanizing milkmen and burping sheep.
There is no end to the hilarity.

Here are some episode highlights :)

*Churpy Burpy Cheap Sheep (Episode 19)
With the annual King of the Sheep competition only days away. A prized sheep,
Chris is haunted by tales of a sheep eating beast roaming the moors.
His fear in turn causes a rather unfortunate belching problem, and it is up to Father Ted
and Father Dougal to nurse him back to health, insuring his win.

*The Mainland (Episode 21)
Ted and company venture to the mainland. So Father Ted can pick up his gambling winnings.
The gang, however is unprepared for the calamitous events that await them.

*Are You There, Father Ted? (Episode 18)
Oblivious to the growing population of Chinese people on Craggy Island. Father Ted is
taken for a racist after a harmless prank is witnessed. Political incorrectness ensues.

*Speed 3 (Episode 20)
A womanizing milkman, Pat Mustard. Sets his sights on the Ted, Dougal
& Jack's housekeeper, Ms. Doyle. Leading Ted to suspect that he alone is responsible
for the increase in hairy babies being born on the island. After Ted outs him to his employer.
He is fired and Dougal is taken on as his replacement. This obviously enrages Pat Mustard
and he rigs a bomb to the milk float, that is set to go off if Dougal's speed limit goes below 3 mph.

*Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse (Episode 23)
After losing a bet to Father Dick Burn. Ted's punishment is to kick the notoriously nasty, Bishop Brennan up the ass. In addition to taking a photo of said event, for evidence that he completed his punishment.

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Decision:

I love this show so much! Everything about it, the jokes, the setting, and most importantly
the gloriously bent characters that inhabit this alternate world. I could happily exist in.
I will be reviewing the series from end to beginning, since the 3rd season was the most expensive to purchase. It's weird...I know.

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Availability: The individual seasons of the show are currently out of print, but
are still available from Amazon and Ebay.
Select full episodes are available to watch for free on hulu.com
http://www.hulu.com/search?query=father+ted&st=0&fs=

Price: By itself the season is available from 13-40$ in various conditions.
And as a collective with seasons 1 & 2 it's available from 47+


So go check it out! Ya dirty feckers!



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Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Ghostwatch (1992)

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Summary:

This is the notorious televised BBC Halloween Special that delves into the supernatural,
by way of a single mother and her two daughters, currently inhabiting one of
the most haunted homes in Britain.

The family has been plagued by paranormal incidents for 10 months.
Various activity that ranges from broken glasses and flying objects.
To goose bump inducing figures and loud banging coming from the walls.
All incidents are thought to originate from one singular entity,
christened "Pipes", by the girl's mother. Hoping to ease her worried brood with the
notion that all of the noises were coming from their central heating.

A BBC film crew in honor of Halloween, decide to set up camp inside the
home on Fox Hill Drive. Among them a small film crew and real life news
Anchor, Sarah Greene. Agree to stay in the home, hoping to document any real evidence of ghosts.

The program also encourages it's viewers to participate in the spooky fun, by calling
in with their own stories of the paranormal.

As expected the festivities start off in good fun, before slowly giving way to genuine fear
as the show progresses. And more disturbing things begin to happen. Making it difficult for
the most diehard skeptics in the film studio to ignore.

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Decision: 

How amazing it would have been to actually see the original broadcast!
And it's initial aftermath of terror. Considering that a majority of the viewing audience really
thought that what they were seeing was real.

This show is exceptional! And undoubtedly fucking terrifying.

In it's simplicity, this is easily one of the scariest films I have every seen.
And comes very highly recommended!

This was my first pal DVD purchase!

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Availability:  Unfortunately, this title is Region 2 only.
And If you have a region free DVD player, do not hesitate to snatch this film up!
It's recently been re-pressed for the film's 20 year anniversary on
pal/region 0 DVD from 101 Distribution.

Price: Sadly, imports are never cheap. This title can be found and purchased
in it's most recent press between (25-40$)

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Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Dead Man's Shoes (2004)

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Summary:

Richard is still plagued by his mentally challenged brother, Anthony's untimely suicide.
He harbors guilt for joining the military and leaving his naive sibling alone,
free to mingle with certain undesirables.

These individuals participate in criminal acts. To most their aim is for a good time.
Except their leader, Sonny, usually the supreme antagonist. Always takes Anthony's
abuse to a whole level of unnecessary.

Only now he and his associates are being systematically targeted by a bereaved and borderline psychotic, Richard. His retribution enacted first as laughable pranks that evolve into vicious mind games.

And it's only a matter of time, before there's a body count ;)

"God will forgive them. He'll forgive them and allow them into heaven....I can't live with that."

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Decision:

The films of Shane Meadows are uncatalogued territory for me.
And after being exposed to two of his films via my English lover.
I have to say that I find them to be extraordinary. If not extremely heart wrenching.

I salivate over gritty revenge films. And this film, while about revenge.
Left me feeling more weepy then satiated by violence.

Being able to move outside of the confines of just being a casual viewer.
Is a pretty amazing thing.

While moving....this film is still extremely disturbing and bleak.
Very highly recommended!

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Availability: This British film is available for purchase in the US.

Price: 3-8$

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Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Girl Boss Revenge (1973)

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Summary:

Komasa is a newly appointed Banchō of a group of rag tag reform school escapees,
christened the gypsies. Her looks and charisma garner her devoted allies.
Unfortunately, most of her followers seem pretty inept when it comes to actually committing criminal acts. Most of the time the girls only truly succeed in enraging rival gangs and intruding on their turf.

The gypsies beloved banchō eventually forms an alliance with an aspiring
adult film director, Ichiro. His close ties to the most powerful gang in the region,
the Hokuryukai make him a valuable ally.

Desperate for fresh faces to satisfy their pleasure seeking clientele. The Hokuryukai have
taken a liking to kidnapping female members from rival gangs. And forcing them to work
in their Turkish bathhouse. Immediately they set their sights on the gypsies and
another female gang dressed in seifuku. Lead by another fellow school girl runaway
and fierce sukeban, Maya.

Pissing off delinquent girl gangs is one thing, but attempting to force them into sexual slavery
or murdering their lovers and friends is only fuel for the ultimate revenge sukeban style.

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Decision:

A grand testament to female badassery.
Sukeban films are easily some of my favorite Japanese exploitation titles.
Complete with vicious girl fights, sleazy dealings and knife wielding beauties.
Notably the amazing, Reiko Ike!

What's not to love :P
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Availability: I purchased this film as a double feature with the Sukeban title,
Delinquent Girl Boss: Blossoming Night Dreams (1970). This title can also
be purchased on it's own.

Price: Double feature (10-18$) On it's own (7-15$)

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Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Rica (1972)

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Summary:

Rica's life has never been easy. Even her birth was consequence of her own
mother's sexual assault at the hands of an American G.I. The trauma having an unfortunate
rippling effect in Rica's life, as she is left to watch her only parent as she is reduced to a
drug addled prostitute, preferring to bring her johns back to her home,
usually with no recourse. That is until one of her male admirers has his way with Rica, repeating the cycle.

Only Rica prefers to revel in delinquency, opposed to grieving over her own violation.
Now head of an all girl gang, Rica ends up unintentionally crossing paths with various sketchy characters. Including, but not limited to, two timing mob bosses, and violent sukeban covered in tattoos.

The recent demise of one of her members, who opts to commit suicide
rather then give birth to a rival gang member's baby. This starts a fued between both gangs.
Except her rivals have the upper hand, distracting Rica with a back alley brawl.
Then kidnapping the rest of her gang's members.

Rica's only hope to save her friends is to appease her rivals by paying an outrageous
ransom with conveniently placed loop holes that make her forfeit the deal.
Her gang is then sent away on ships to be sold into the slave trade.
While Rica is sent to an all girl's reformatory, hell bent on escaping.

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Decision:

Hidden amongst a frenetic mess of a plot, lies some pretty impressive violence
and rock n' roll spirit. I do think the film could've been condensed down into something
pretty memorable, had it not been prolonged by unnecessary things.
Namely random characters and confusing plot padding. Although It's brief moments of surprising sadism make it worth checking out.

Our leading lady may be quite visually appealing and exotic. However, I think Rica lacks the acting abilities and charisma to truly carry a film like her fellow Pinky violence vixens. Even her singing voice is a bit...mediocre.

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Availability: In print

Price: 5-16$

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Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Visiting Hours (1982)

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Summary:

Controversial speaker & journalist, Deborah Ballin unintentionally triggers a
mentally disturbed employee during the filming of a television program.
The taped segment shows Deborah discussing a polarizing case, involving a battered
housewife charged with murdering her husband. The woman claims her actions were in self defense.

Except Deborah's boss refuses to air the taping, on grounds that showing it live would only
enrage millions of viewers. Preferring instead to just enrage one person...Deborah.
Who storms out of the studio, and heads back to her home. Only to find a nice little
surprise in the form a hulking, knife wielding psychopath draped with her jewelry...

The unknown assailant attempts to kill her. Instead he only wounds her in a scuffle before
her battered body is found by a neighbor, and she is taken to a hospital, where she
still feels uneasy about her potential burglar.Who's agenda is definitely more personal.
Now that he's venturing into the hospital after visiting hours, brandishing his trusty blade.

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Decision:

Slasher film fans have seen this man before. Rendered impotent, prior disturbances and
trauma caused by his parents. Most notably his mother, reducing him to an
emasculated being that can only attain release by penetrating his female victims with
some sharp, phallic object. Yet despite being the typical slasher film stereotype, our killer
still exudes creepiness.

I also think that this film contains one of the most horrifying on screen demises.
Involving an innocent bed ridden elderly woman, having a tube supplying her with
vital oxygen sliced. While her killer sits on her bed, taking photographs as she slowly
succumbs to a painful demise. That is why I was filled with such a child like glee when
our woman in peril ends up being the one that penetrates.

Highly recommended!

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Availability: The original pressing of this title has been out of print for quite some time.
However, in 2011 a double feature with this film & Bad Dreams (1988)
was released from Shout! Factory, and is still in print!

Price: 9-12$

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Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)

Vampire In Brooklyn (1995)

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Summary:

Max is a Caribbean vampire searching for the last female descendent of his tribe.
A half vampire, currently residing in Brooklyn. The half human/vampire hybrid
in question is Rita. A police detective, plagued by troubling dreams fueled by her mother's
recent passing in an insane asylum.

A boat containing his coffin, along with myriad bloodless corpses, crashes in the New York harbor. Where it is discovered by two men. One of the men is quickly ensnared by Max to do his bidding. But, for a price as his body begins to rot.

The spectacle at the harbor, leads Rita right onto Max's radar. Once she investigates the interior of the ship, discovering his coffin. The event triggers a foreboding vision.
Sending her into hysterics, only to disappear when Rita's partner, Justice shows up to assist her.

Max immediately senses a brewing chemistry between Rita and Justice. This scenario forces him to take extreme measures to discredit him, even going so far as to possess the bodies of a foul mouthed mobster and a preacher. Doing anything he can think of lure her into his web.

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Decision: 

It's a shame that successful and effective "urban" horror films are pretty few and far between. For every Candyman (1992) or Tales From The Hood (1995) there's a Leprechaun In The Hood (2000) or Vampiyaz (2004) that totally ruins it. With non-existent budgets, crappy derivative plots  and shoddy performances.

I still happen to really love Wes Craven's previous effort at "urban" horror, The People Under The Stairs (1991). This film however, despite it's intentions and potential. Increased considerably by Angela Bassett's performance. Still fails on so many levels. Maybe not to the point of being totally unwatchable. But, it walks a fine line and stays there.

The jokes usually fall flat, with a rare exception. Making the film a failure at being an outright comedy. There are occasional, albeit brief moments of atmosphere. Yet the film as a whole isn't scary. Even with notably competent make-up effects. So even as a horror film, it fails. Leaving us with one confused cinema oddity. Capable of occasionally stirring an occasional laugh.

Evil may be necessary, but this film is not.



Happy New Year, everyone!

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Availability:  This title is considered out of print, but it can still be purchased
for a decent price.

Price: 4-15$

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Screen Captures: (No copyright infringement intended.)