Assault! Jack The Ripper (1976)

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Review:

When the unlikely duo of a temperamental coffee shop waitress and her cohort a meek pastry chef. Accidentally kill a deranged hitchhiker with their car. The pair is left with no option, but to conceal the body. Equally traumatized and titilated by their acts, the two return to the girl's apartment where they partake in passionate carnal lust. Each take turns reliving the events that transpired.

Now smitten with the pastry chef, the girl attempts to have sex with her partner in crime once more, only to find that without the act of murder on their minds they cannot relive the spark of passion. Which fuels their perverse sexual games, as she begins to encourage her lover to partake in the more unsavory enterprise of butchery as a new kind of aphrodisiac.

What she eventually discovers is that the act of killing becomes more of a compulsion to her accomplice, who slowly begins to lose control of his murderous impulses.

Make way for numerous crotch stabbings!

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In Conclusion:

The film is a trashy good time, with an over abundance of softcore and nudity. The violence although not as explicit is still very mean spirited and makes one clutch their nether regions, after seeing ample scenes of forced knife penetrations.

And for some reason, after viewing this film..I wanted a slice of cake after watching the opening credits as the pastry chef decorates a tasty look wedding cake.

Yum.

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Screen Captures: (All screen caps are taken by me, please do not use without my permission! Thank you)

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (1970)

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Review:

When a treasured pair of earrings, received from her deceased mother lead to the sexual awakening of 13 year old Valerie. She discovers a magical world, filled with secrets and new experiences that she could never have imagined in her wildest dreams.

Valerie lives with her pious granny, who has more then her share of undisclosed secrets and desires, as she lusts for a fellow priest, who spurns her advances sending the woman into fits of sadomasochistic flagellation.
She can only conceal her sins, and encouraged Valerie to follow the same virtuous path her mother followed by becoming a nun.

One day while sleeping, a man, known only as "Eagle" takes Valerie's beloved earrings at the request of his ghoulish father, the Constable. The corrupt officer is now on the prowl for the treasures after finding that they possess magical powers that he could use to his benefit.

The Constable grows rather irate after finding that Eagle returns the earrings, as a ploy for Valerie's devotion. Leaving him with no choice but to subject his offspring to various tortures.

After receiving a note from Eagle, Valerie goes in search of the mysterious man, finding him chained up to a water fountain in the middle of town square. Unaware that the Constable is watching their every move.

He has plans to enlist the aid of Valerie's grandmother, who's veiled yearnings for youth and beauty entice her to give her home and Valerie to the Constable.
Once granting her wish, she and the ghastly lover begin to share a mutual thirst for blood and perversion.

This is where a child's fairy tale fantasy starts to go terribly wrong.

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In Conclusion:

There is so many things to love about this film. The beautiful visuals, ornate with color and architecture. The waves of allure matched only by the eerie flashes of the grotesque.

I love, love, LOVE..this movie.
I hope that other Czech films will make their way to region 1 dvd!
Highly recommended!

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Screen Captures: (All screen caps are taken by me, please do not use without my permission! Thank you)

Goodbye Uncle Tom (1971)

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Review:

We are first introduced to a varied group of individuals that are being documented for an inquest on slavery (some own slaves and others have a more progressive view point on the subject.)
First we see the captives as they are being stored for transport and eventual sale. The boat's captain describes the unfathomable stench of hundreds of bodies chained together in such a confined space, some of the prisoners experience terrible diarrhea caused by their poor diet (which consists mainly of molasses and beans) and bacteria. To stop their captives from defecating on themselves a painful device is forcibly inserted in their anal cavities.

On their arrival to land, all slaves are quarantined and considering the deplorable conditions these poor people are forced to endure, many are stricken with contagious skin infections, which leads to them to be placed in cages where they are gassed in an attempt to kill the bacterial infestation.
And that is not even the half of it.

The only semi-amusing part of the film involves a rich old biddy who is in denial about her husbands illicit affairs with their female slaves, resulting in mixed children, some of which the woman believes to have facial features that resemble her husbands. When asked why that is even possible the woman's husband attributes their traits to "symbiosis". The woman's husband is also interviewed and his affinity for deflowering his wife's slaves is explored further.

The film is equally informative and shocking, I will leave other key points and scenes for the viewer to discover

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In Conclusion:

A must see for those that like mondo style films or psuedo-documentaries.
Perpare yourselves for a viewing experience you will never forget.

Very highly recommended!

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Screen Captures: (All screen caps are taken by me, please do not use without my permission.)

Human Lanterns (1982)

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Review:

Affluent rivals Lung and Tan challenge each other in an upcoming New Years Lantern making contest. Their announcements are made at a public ceremony Tan's throwing in honor of his upcoming engagement to the beautiful Yen-Chu (a known prostitute and Lung's former lover).

The thought of nuptial bliss between Tan his eternal enemy and Yen-Chu fills Lung with rage and entices him to request the services of a former opponent Chung-Fang, who was left humiliated and permanently scarred, after Lung challenged him to a fight when they both sought the love of the same woman. The woman in question (Jin) is now Lung's wife.

Chung-Fang is able to conceal his vengeful thoughts long enough to gain Lung's trust with the promise of the lantern's completion come the time of the contest, but he still seeks revenge, so Chung-Fang decides to use a special material for his award winning lanterns, the soft, youthful skin of various unwilling female victims, all whom have various relationships linking them with Lung's rival Tan.

Will Lung discover Chung-Fang's plot for revenge, or will all the beautiful women in this film meet a ghastly end!?

Let the skin peeling begin!

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In Conclusion:


This action-horror film is filled with atmosphere, beautiful scenery and equally beautiful women. Certain action scenes are well choreographed and exciting, while the film does occasionally slip into long winded tangents that detract from the viewing experience.

Overall it is a pretty decent watch, I would recommend as a possible rental before purchasing.

I am however, looking forward to the release of another Shaw Brother's Film "Seeding of a Ghost".

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Screen Captures: (All screen caps are taken by me, please do not use without my permission.)

Mondo Cane (1962)

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Review:

A thoroughly informative and equally entertaining showcase of various cultural oddities. From scenic beauty to savage customs where the authenticity of certain footage is questionable, yet fascinating nonetheless.

From voracious crowds of randy female natives participating in a man hunt. To a tribe in New Guinea that places it's most desirable females in cages only to gorge them on tapioca root, so that they can attain a form covetable to the tribe leader who weights a meer 92 lbs.

There is shock footage aplenty as the viewer witnesses the brutal beheading of a bull, and in the final frame a bull gets it's revenge as it reeks havoc through the streets and takes out curious spectators.

I will say that with the popularity of certain cooking shows (such as Top Chef), I was starting to wonder what Foie Gras actually was. And after seeing how it is made (by force feeding a duck or goose so that it's engorged liver can be extracted for Gourmet aficionados.) I have absolutely no desire ever to try it. (To each their own, I suppose :P)

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In Conclusion:

This is the Shockumentary that started it all, and is an absolute viewing necessity for those that are looking for landmark points in exploitation films.

Highly recommended!

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Screen Captures: (All screen caps are taken by me, please do not use without my permission.)

Flower & Snake (1974)

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Review:

Businessman Makoto, forever traumatized by events that occurred when he was a child, is rendered impotent and is unable to have casual sex with a female. His doting mother who he happens to reside with, only aids in her son's impairment by filming pornographic bondage films in their basement.

Senzo, the owner of the company Makoto works for, happens to request the services of his young employee, when he finds explicit photos of women in various stages of bondage at his desk. Discontent with his own marriage and his inability to have relations with his beautiful, prideful wife Shizuko. Senzo asks Makoto to train his wife in the art of submission, so she would bend to his every command, rather then force him to take his sexual frustrations out on the maid.

Senzo puts sleeping pills in Shizuko's drink, rendering her incapable of fighting off Makoto's advances.

What is in store for the unfortunate Shizuko is a plethora of fetish staples, including Shibari, enemas, and other various perversities.

Will she become the wife that Senzo desires, or is her will too strong to break?

You will be amazed at the various depraved relationships that unfold before your eyes.

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In Conclusion:

Oh, my what a pervy film! For those unfamiliar with another sub-genre of Pink film, known as the "Roman Porno", this is an example of such film. A low-budget Japanese film that tends to focus more on sex.

This film also helped film distribution company "Nikkatsu" from going completely bankrupt.

For those that love their smut as much as I do, this would make a worthy purchase.

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Screen Captures: (All screen caps are taken by me, please do not use without my permission.)

Love Me Deadly (1973)

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Review:

She lingers in the back row of the funeral home, waiting for her chance to caress the embalmed, cold flesh of the dead cradled in their coffins. She knows nothing about the deceased or their grieving families, all she knows is that her lust for the dead is too great to be denied.

Her corpse fetish may derive its potency from her deceased father, with whom she shared a rather odd relationship with. As a kid her father treated her more like a lover then a child. Their bond was so strong that once he passed away, Lindsey could not help but become fixated with his corpse. Her inability to have a normal relationship with various potential suitors, only exacerbates the situation, when she finds herself unable to become intimate with them.

One day after having a random encounter at a funeral parlor she finds herself interested in a living man (Alex), who's uncanny resemblance to her late father leads her to lust secretly after him. His mutual interest in her leads the two to form a seemingly normal relationship. Yet, Lindsey still cannot give up her compulsion to visit the funeral home, where the owner of the establishment (Fred) begins to notice an increase in her attendance.

A fellow necrophile himself, he offers to invite Lindsey to join a special group of individuals that happen to share in her affinity for the dead. Little does she know that the group happens to be a gaggle of devil worshiping deviants who kill their playmates before partaking in sexual acts with their corpses.

Will Lindsey ever allow herself to have a normal relationship with Alex, or will she be "Forever doomed to love only the dead?"

Just watch and see.

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In Conclusion:

If Lifetime Television for Women where around in the 70s and happened to produce a sleazy film about Necrophilia, Love Me Deadly would be that film. There are many moments filled with unnecessary melodrama, yet at the same time the movie has such great atmosphere.

Despite the sappy romance, there is still a lot of distasteful subject matter taking place.
I really enjoyed the film, and after multiple viewings I find myself liking it even more. Don't let the Lifetime comment dishearten you, you'll still be in for a unique viewing experience.

It's also interesting to note that this film pre-dates other notorious corpse love films, such as (Nekromantik 1 & 2, Lucker The Necrophageous, and Kissed)
Not bad for 1973.

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Screen Captures: (All screen caps are taken by me, please do not use them without my permission.)